Thursday, June 02, 2005

Star Wars... if they could BAAAR wars....

I heart the Bill Murray Star Wars song... Anyway...

I saw the new Star Wars movie today with Andy, our 9 year old nephew Rob and my sis-in-law (Rob's mom)Amy - it was super, super good, I must say. And my nephew brought his light sabers along with him to the movie - CUTE!!!!

Episode V (the Empire Strikes Back, for all of you who have been living in a box since...oh... 1974 or so) is my very very favorite, but this latest episode is a close second. And it's not just because it's dripping with eVIL, although that doesn't hurt one bit. I'm not gonna give anything away, I just feel compelled to list out my likes, dislikes, and questions (in no particular order) about this newest installment of the Star Wars sextet:

- UM, the birth of friggin Darth Vadar, y'all. SHA!
- The way they ended this movie with sets / costumes / flair that were a total nod back to the 70s style of episodes IV through VI. LOVE the bad Prince Valiant, mullet-like haircuts, the funky 'future' costumes and weird white 'streamlined' hallways in one of the last scenes of the film. What's old IS really new again, huh???
- the accent of the little british 'youngling' right before he's mowed down by mean old Anakin.
- That funky lizard critter that Obi-Wan rides around on, and the fact that, even when they are close up on him in the scene, Obi-Wan still wiggles back and forth, all thoughtfully continuity-conscious-like.
- the "wheel machine" that General Grievous rides around on when Obi-Wan is chasing him on the lizard thingy I just mentioned. (I know those aren't the TECHNICAL terms for either mode of transportation, you geeks out there - no need to correct me, k?)
- I want arms like General Grievous. 'Nuff said.
- The way Yoda just knocked 2 of those red guard guys down with his BRAIN, dudes. UM, YEAH!
- Thank you, Jar Jar, for shutting the fuck up this time around. Meesa can't stand you.

- The fact that Anakin's *long* hair weave does NOT move. EVER. Lighten up on the Aqua Net, Mr. Lucas, K?
- Am I the only one who thinks Padme looks REALLY freaky with that long, curly hair??? Giant face much? YIKES.
- That said, the BAD dialogue during any and all love scenes from Episodes I, II and III. I know they had to build that part of the story and all, but SWEET JESUS...
- Kinda thought the Jedi deaths were a bit doofy, particularly that one girl on the trippy planet. LAME.
- The wookie planet second was a total rip off. I wanted to see those fuzzy dudes delivering unholy havoc on the invading troops, instead I got 2 seconds of running here and there. Again - LAME!

- Okay, so Yoda is, like, 5,000 years old, has proved himself a total badass time and again, but has one (granted, rather large) failure and 'has to go into exile' ?????? Sore loser, you are.
- So... on that note... are we all prepared to see Yoda turn back into a full-fledged puppet when we watch the movies in order?
- On that last point, especially the scene where Luke 'wears' yoda like a backpack while he trains...?
- I know they are Jedi and all, but shouldn't Anakin and Obi-Wan have shown an INKLING of hotfoot when they were battling each other 3 inches over the river o' lava???
- Aside from the burned up Annie on the banks of said river o' lava, was the violence really all that bad? I thought Luke getting stuffed into Han's critter in the aforementioned Episode V was WAY grosser than anything in this movie!
- Mace, baby... You're the baddest brother in the galaxy. WTF with your lame death....???


Anonymous said...

You mention a good point about watching them in order.

It's like completely impossible now. Darth being Luke's Dad is SPOILED in III now! LAME! If Lucas was cool he'd have Anakin just 'die' in this one and then Darth would show up in IV. Now THAT'D be cool.


p.s. if you wanna talk plot holes in these new movies, I'm your man. I could write ten pages on what just DOESN'T make sense in them.

Anonymous said...

I did dig the movie though. Badass. Def the best of the new ones.


p.s. You should post this stuff on (my h.s. dork friends site). There's a ton of Star Wars talk in the FILMS forum.

dj lil'e said...

I hear you - I do have to say, though, I watched Episode IV the day that I saw the newest film, and it was kind of cool how I then understood the relationships waaaay better.

That said, I'm sure you could drive a truck through the plot holes!!!!