Sunday, February 25, 2007

The Mysterious FedEx Arrow

You know, I was going to preface this posting with a whole thing about how this is a boring ramble and you should skip it, but I actually just erased that and replaced it with this even more boring (and longwinded, might I add) ramble about how you should read this. Whatever... read it or don't...

I was sure that nobody else on God's green earth had ever seen the hidden arrow between the E and the x on the FedEx logo. I swear, I just picked up a package in the right light on the right day, and kablammo! (that's the sound my brain makes when I discover something monumental, in case you were wondering...) there was this subtle little arrow made out of negative space. Once I saw it, I've never been able to see anything else - like when you look at one of those abstract blue and white needlepoint thingys and all the sudden words like "JESUS" or "WELCOME" or "I HAVE HOBBIES THAT THEY DO DURING CRAFT TIME AT THE ASYLUM" pop out.

Andy can tell you - I wouldn't shut up about it for a while. I thank my lucky stars I wasn't born with Tourette's Syndrome or something - I can't imagine the number of random things I'd be screaming about all day. Probably would sound something like: "FEDEX ARROW. SHIT. FALCO. FUCK. GLUTEN. DAMNIT."

But I digress...

SO, I discovered this blog today. The guy who writes it is hilarious. BUT, he actually interviews the guy who created the logo, specifically to talk about that arrow. And they say the Internet is full of useless crap! PSHAW!

That being said, I read the interview and now feel like a complete idiot. Of COURSE it was totally planned out. Of COURSE it wasn't a random accident, waiting to be discovered by the brilliant mind of someone who spends most of her time looking through dusty record bins for hits by Taco. Of COURSE not. It would be like me going to Europe and saying, "people from America should get a LOAD of this place." Okay, GOT IT - your "so-called" non-subliminal-yet-subliminal efforts only took me... um... 13 YEARS to figure out...

Anyway, you know how sometimes you get to the heart of the matter and find that it's actually much more clinical and half as interesting as you thought it would be? This was like that. I was kind of hoping the designer would be some crazy hippie who was taking shrooms and had spent the entirety of his design career subliminally hiding naked dudes on Camel cigarette boxes and stuff like that. Nope. The guy is actually pretty straightlaced and fairly mundane about the whole thing. Granted, he has an almost unhealthy attraction to the fonts 67 (Bold Condensed) and Futura Bold, but we won't talk about that. I have the feeling my friends in the design industry would be outside my window with pitchforks and torches made out of spare Mac parts if I made fun of this in the manner that it so richly deserves...

Ah well, I guess it's back to my needlepoint... when you squint your eyes at it, I swear it looks like it says "HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF"

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