Thursday, March 29, 2007

disappointed.

I try to be a good person (most of the time).

I try and be fair, and take the high road (again, most of the time).

I try and think of relationships, not money, fame, nor fortune (all of the time).

Why the hell is this so difficult for other people, I ask you? Why? I have come upon a couple of situations lately in all facets of my life where I see the power that the dollar has over others, and I feel like David up against the proverbial Goliath every time. Only in my case, David gets stepped on (or over) before he has the chance to throw the rock.

I feel like I've spent the last few posts just bitching, but March has not been a good month for me at all; very disappointing on many levels and full of examples of the ugliness of humanity at large. I feel like I have to turn into a selfish bitch in order to keep my head above water some days, and it's killing me.

I talk a lot here about karma in my life - it is really the one balancing mechanism in the universe that helps me sleep at night when I otherwise wouldn't. And believe me - karma can be a bitch, even to me and people I like loads; case in point, my neighbor destroying the sculpture in my yard. That incident helped me to understand that "things" should never represent relationships - the emotional connection is far more long-reaching, long-lasting, and satisfying than the tangible connection will ever be.

Sadly, the peeps in my life who aren't seeing it are going to find their own lessons in bad karma one of these days. I can only hope that they take pause, take the lesson, and fucking do something about it.

Please, it's not too late.

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